3 Reasons ‘Friends With Benefits’ Doesn’t Work

3 Reasons ‘Friends With Benefits’ Doesn’t Work

Single Doesn’t Mean Desperate

Single Doesn’t Mean Desperate

This is a true story. I wish I were imaginative enough to make up the exchange I’m about to recount for you, but honestly, I couldn’t have dreamt up what followed when I answered my cell phone earlier today.
I normally don’t bother accepting calls from numbers I do not recognize, but a friend of mine is in town this weekend. I thought maybe she was calling from the landline where she’s staying. So, I picked up.
There’s a guy on the line, and when I ask him who he is, he responds with, “Someone who’s interested in you.” (It’s getting good already. Right? LOL.) I don’t recognize his voice, and I’m assuming it’s a wrong number, but Mike quickly explains to me that he’s called me before. It was unintentional that first time. He was trying to reach a woman he’d met and swapped info with, but he reached my phone instead. Apparently, he liked the sound of my voicemail message and decided he’d make note of his misdial and call me again.
I kid you not.
I’m confused. So, just to make sure I’m following, I ask, “So, we’ve never met, but you’re telling me you’re interested in me based off my voicemail message?” Yep. He assures me that I’ve got the gist. Apparently, I sound cute.
There’s more.
After I lie and tell him I have a boyfriend, he goes on to tell me that he has “a friend,” too. She’s 38, but she’s married. So, he’s available, since he’s ready to leave married women alone. I encourage him to do that.
So, he asks my age, and he inquires as to whether I have children. He seems genuinely shocked when I tell him I’ve not birthed any babies. Of course, I have to ask him the same thing. His answer? Five. My response. “I hope you’re joking.” He’s not.
I’m laughing.
I try to kindly convey to Mike that I’m not interested, but he suggests I save his number in my phone and that we get to know each other better because he wants to take me out to dinner. However, that will be some time after he’s done dealing with his DUI situation. Apparently, he can’t get behind the wheel anytime in the near future. I think he offered more of an explanation in regard to this, but his voice was being drowned out by the sound of my continued laughter.
I told him I wasn’t interested in learning anymore about him. I said it as nicely as possible. Really.
The end.
I could easily offer this as confirmation that answering calls from unfamiliar numbers should be avoided. However, I thoroughly enjoyed my chat with Mike. It was one of the most entertaining conversations I’ve had in months.
So, go ahead and answer that call from the strange number. You might get a good story out of it

Black America Receives a Warning from South Africa

For decades, the Black majority population in South Africa suffered under a viciously oppressive form of white minority rule known as Apartheid. But Black South Africans were told by their leaders that if they continued their struggle for freedom and brought about Black majority rule, they could expect not just an end to demeaning and demoralizing racism but also good paying jobs and general economic prosperity as well as better homes, schools and health care.
Finally, in the mid-1990s, Black majority rule came to South Africa under the leadership of freedom fighter and human rights icon Nelson Mandela.
In other words, South Africa has had rule by Black politicians for 15 years. There is just one problem: There has been precious little or no economic prosperity for the vast majority of the Black population. The warning from South Africa is that merely putting a Black face is political office is no guarantee of betterment for the masses of Blacks, especially those near the bottom rungs of society.
The debate in South Africa burst into the open last week from Mandela’s former wife Winnie Mandela told Britain’s Evening Standard newspaper that Mandela and the Black presidents of South Africa who have followed him – Thabo Mbeki and Jacob Zuma – “let us down” by not doing more to bring economic prosperity to the country’s Black majority. Specifically, she argues that Mandela should have used his enormous popularity to stay in office for a second term in order to wrest more control of the economy from the rich, white minority.
While some have attempted to dismiss Winnie Mandela as a bitter ex-wife, prominent South African political observer Adam Habib agrees with her basic assessment: “There does seem to be some semblance of truth to what she says. In terms of the settlement [transfer of political power from white politicians to Black politicians] poor people were not sufficiently taken care of. The rich people’s interests were protected, without the poor people’s living standards improving substantially.”
In South Africa, the poor are increasingly expressing their frustrations with the failure of Black politicians to deliver on their promises with so-called “service delivery strikes” – now employing some of the same demonstrations and tactics their used to bring down white minority rule against the Black-led government.
Black America is potentially looking at a similar conundrum. President Obama has said that because he is president of all Americans it would be inappropriate for him to push an economic stimulus package specifically or primarily designed to aid African Americans.
But how long is unemployment going to hover around 16 percent; how long will poverty continue to rise; incarcerations increase; homelessness worsen and angry young men and women be without hope and jobs before rebellion takes place in this country – even under an African American president?
Black America needs a clear cut economic development plan and that plan will require billions of dollars in government funds – not to fight useless and immoral wars in Iraq and Afghanistan – but to rebuild the inner city. Otherwise – just as in South Africa – Black politicians (from mayors to congress members to the president) would have “let us down.”

The Black Titanic Ship

This blog is to help put into perspective the situation within the black community for those who can’t see it. I get plenty of hate mail and after a while it becomes annoying. It never ceases to amaze me how many black people are in DENIAL about the OBVIOUS dysfunctions around us. Today it is not the white man…it’s us! We are our own worst enemy. I hope this helps…


Setting: The Black Titanic Ship
Starring: All members of the black community (rich, poor, Democrat, Republican, conservative, progressive etc). A list of black leaders and politicians: Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, John Lewis, Maxine Waters, and all others.
Time: Past & Present day


The Black Titanic has been sailing the Atlantic since the end of the American Civil War. The ship has seen a number of captains beginning with Frederick Douglass. First starting out the ship was STRONG. Many were amazed by its massive size and strength. Black men and black women were marrying and starting families in large numbers. A community began to form. Black businesses were popping up all over the ship. There were banks, newspapers, a black woman with a hair care product, and insurance companies.


Some outsiders resented the newfound freedom of the former black slaves. They started a terrorist organization called the Klu Klux Klan. White pirates would come aboard the ship in the middle of the night in order to cause chaos. This was the first major iceberg to hit the black titanic—RACISM. Lynchings, rape, and beatings took place. Some black businesses were destroyed. Still the ship kept sailing.


A few new captains came along during this time. First there was W.E.B. DuBois, Booker T. Washington and Marcus Garvey. Malcolm X entered the picture along with a black progressive, who would eventfully change the Black Titanic forever, Martin Luther King Jr.


By this time some black people aboard the black titanic became restless/resentful of their place in society, and sought equality outside of the black titanic. These individuals strongly believed that the only way to equality was if we (the black passengers aboard the ship) got off and joined the rest of the world in every sector of society (including interracial marriage). They jumped ship and abandoned a number of prosperous black businesses aboard the black titanic. This was the second iceberg to hit the black titanic—INTREGRATION.


Unity among black people on the black titanic began to break down. Black people began to separate themselves by class, education, and ideology. Non-blacks were allowed to come aboard the black titanic. Interracial marriages began to pop up more than ever before. Still the black titanic kept sailing with those black people, who vowed to stick around. A number of black industries prospered during this time. Soul Train was on the air. Berry Gordy and Motown were going strong. Black athletes and entertainers came into their own. Then it happened! The third iceberg hit—the captain of the ship, Martin Luther King Jr. was gunned down (years before his co-captain, Malcolm X, was also gunned down). This left the ship badly damaged.


A new captain of the ship stepped forward—Jesse Jackson. Under his leadership came a series of damaging icebergs—WELFARE, ROE V. WADE, GANGS, VOLIENCE, SINGLE MOTHERS, THE SELLING OF BLACK BUSINESSES TO WHITES, AND CRACK COCAINE/DRUGS. With this series of icebergs the black titanic become permanently crippled and many of it’s inhabitants began to worry not only about the welfare of the ship, but the direction of the ship because along the way Jesse Jackson picked up a co-captain—Al Sharpton, a race baiter more blunt and vigorous than any before him.


Under captain Jesse Jackson black fathers were sent to the bottom of the ship and black mothers were given welfare if needed. The black family began to look more and more like a matriarchy. Black women gained the right to kill off their offspring. Planned Parenthood clinics began to pop up all over the ship (along with liquor stores and crack houses). An estimated sixteen million black babies were killed off due to abortion. Tookie Williams and friends became pirates to the ship and gang violence erupted. Drugs invaded the ship with the gangs. Through all this nonsense the captains of the ship assured the passenger that everything was fine. “If anything pops off just use your race care to gain sympathy, respect, and a competitive advantage. Don't ever forget white America owes you...in every way that matters," they said.


Those who began to question the direction of the ship also began planning for what was sure to come. Productive blacks began investing their money, buying land and homes in the suburbs (islands), planning for their children’s education outside the black titanic, securing their preservation by purchasing lifeboats, and separating themselves from the masses aboard the ship. They also openly questioned the leadership of the ship’s captains only to be hit with a harsh backlash from the masses, “You act white. You’re not black enough. You’re a sellout.” So, they decided to keep quiet and wait for the day to come…


That day those productive blacks saw coming is now…present day. The Black Titanic is sinking. The last series of icebergs to hit the ship were—AIDS/STDS, OBESITY, HIP-HOP/RAP MUSIC, A GENDER WAR BETWEEN THE SEXES, AND INDIFFERENCE FROM THOSE OUTSIDE THE BLACK TITANITC TO THE WELFARE OF AFRICAN AMERICANS.


I’m in my lifeboat with friends and family. As we’re paddling away from the black titanic we’re looking back in anger and fascination. Anger because we saw this coming and fascination because it is one hell of a sight to see.


My mother: “Von, maybe we should go back and try to help.”
Me: “Naw…screw that! They should have been investing in lifeboats like us instead of putting their money in weave, cars, rims, and bullshit. They partied right up until the last iceberg caught them off guard. I know they didn’t see that one coming, but it was predictable.”


I’m paddling as hard as I can to try to get away. There are black folks all around us begging for help.


A Drowning Man: “Von…please…please…let me climb aboard your boat.”
Me: “Hell no…If I let you climb aboard every drowning mofo out here is going to want to climb aboard and then you idiots will turn the boat over.”
A Drowning Man: “Please.”


He attempts to grab the side of my boat…rocking it with his weight.


Me: “I said no…asshole. You should have taken your money and invested in a boat instead of those 24 inch rims.”


I stand up and knock him upside the head with the boat paddle. He falls off the boat. We paddle away. Next a single mother, who is holding her young daughter, approaches us.


Single mother: “Please Von save me and my child.”
Me: “I told your ass a long time ago NOT to have a child you couldn’t afford, but you didn’t listen. I told you to take your birth control.”
Single mother: “I know. I was young and he played me. I thought he loved me…so I let him go in raw.”
Me: “Save the sob story for Lucifer, bitch.”


I catch sight of the two captains of the ship. Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and a flock of black progressives are trying to escape unnoticed. I catch up to them.


Me: “Hey…waiting a minute! How the hell are you progressive blacks going to leave the ship you were driving? You’re supposed to go down with the ship.”


Jesse Jackson: “Now that’s where you’re wrong. We didn’t land on the black titanic. The black titanic landed on us!”


Me: “Yeah it landed on me too, but when those like myself tried to tell you guys that this ship needed to be repaired you either ignored our warning or deflected our issues. If you did acknowledge the issues it was to blame someone else…most commonly white America. The gangs, drugs, violence, single parent homes, piss poor sense of morality and the spreading of STDs could have been prevented if you group of manipulators had taken the time to talk about the problems instead of begging the white man for his table scraps, sympathy, respect and enabling those with these issues. You told the passengers on the ship to use their race whenever possible to get ahead while those like myself tried to encourage them to think for themselves and be more self-sufficient. Now they have nothing to show for their lives on the black titanic.”


Jesse Jackson: “You’re wrong…the white man will be here soon to rescue us all. They wouldn’t dare let the black race die. There would be a backlash around the world.”


Me: “Did you not see how large the LAST iceberg was that hit us? It was INDIFFERENCE from the general public about the plight of African Americans. After years of inciting ‘white guilt’ white America and everyone else has finally said ‘enough of this shit. You Negros are on your own.’”


Maxine Waters: “So what are you saying?”


Me: “I’m saying your damn race card has expired. No one gives a fuck whether the masses live or die. We tried to tell you it was coming…tried to warn you. Now look at you…leaving the scene of the crime with your tail between your legs…yet for years I and those who think like me were called sellouts to our race for trying to get black folks to take responsibility and stand on their own two feet.”


The boat full of progressive blacks look from one to the other.


Al Sharpton: “What do you suggest we do now?”


Me: “It’s too damn late to do anything. You have driven the black community to hell. My crew and I are going to take our food/water/money and sail to our home in the suburbs (our island). I’m guessing you and your crew will sail or try to sail back to America. Without your black nation…what do you have left to live for?”


They look from one to the other once again.


John Lewis: “Barack Obama…we have a black president now. Our hope lies with him.”


I shake damn head and paddle away.

shaming well off blacks

Have you ever noticed how certain members of the black community will try to shame well off or successful black people for supposedly not helping the black community, but don’t have a damn thing to say about the trifling knee-grows out here tearing down the black community???


Take a second to think about it…


How many times have you heard an African American say something along the lines of this...


“Oprah, Bill Cosby, and so-and-so need to do more to help the black community. They don’t do damn near as much as they could. Instead of rebuilding Africa they need to be rebuilding the black community right here in the United States.”


While on the flip side, how often do you ever hear black people say something along the lines of…


“ This chick right here need to keep her damn legs close, stop sleeping with deadbeats, and Pookie need to take his dried up sperm shooting ass to school instead of sitting on the porch all day smoking weed and grabbing his nuts.”


When do you ever hear black people criticize those black folks who contribute THE MOST to the black communities’ problems? Hardly ever! Yet these same people will tear down a successful black person in a heartbeat if they aren’t doing what is deemed appropriate by the crabs stuck in the barrel.


“He is not doing enough! She is not black anymore. She don’t even support black people anymore,” is the crap they spew, but they rarely ever say anything about Pookie and Ms. Fertile.


I don’t get it!


Where are the shaming tactics for those who are screwing us up the most? Where is their criticism of black on black crime, rape/domestic violence against black women, and the number of out of wedlock births in the black community? Why are Pookie and Mrs. Fertile given a pass for their SELF-INFLICTED nonsense, but upper crust African Americans are called out for some B.S. they are not obligated to fulfill or even promised to fulfill?


This is the kind of crap that pisses me off. As a young black woman, who is working hard to get where I want to be in life, it makes me angry to know some trifling knee-grow is somewhere feeling entitled to my success once I reach the peak simply because we share race. I imagine this must be how well off white people feel every time a white liberal or some black progressive says something along the lines of, “it is our job to help these people…the rich aren’t paying their fair share of taxes” or “we are owed for slavery.” SMH!


Anyone who reads this blog should know I don’t have a problem helping those black people who are working to help THEMSELVES. However, no one has the right to guilt trip me (or anyone else), harass me, or bully me into helping him or her out of some twisted sense of entitlement. I’m selective about the individuals I help. That is my right. I’m selective about the individuals I pity. That is my right. Your race doesn’t mean crap to me if I see that you are NOT trying to help yourself.


Who is throwing the shaming tactics at well off blacks?


Most often in my experience the shaming tactics thrown at well off blacks are coming from those black folks who are POOR and who make the POOREST DECISIONS/CHOICES in life. It’s important to note that all poor black people do not share the mentality of those outlined here, do not feel entitled/owed anything, and do not try to shame well off black people into helping them. Most often the shaming tactics are NOT coming from those who are middle/upper class. The only time you hear a middle/upper class African American trying to shame well off black people is when they…

Subscribe to some misguided notion that the poor African Americans making idiotic choices should be shown some empathy (i.e., Freeman) though a pattern of idiotic behavior can often be established.
They, themselves, come from that environment and sympathize with those living in those conditions.


Otherwise those who fit into the following are the main individuals throwing the shaming tactics (key phrase)…

Black Men/Women who have children out of wedlock.
Those who most often have little to no education and no desire to reach for something better.
Ex-Cons.
Generations of welfare cases.
Those who spend their money on bullshit like weave, rims, cars, and general crap.
Those, who, if you looked into their background have fucked THEMSELVES over in life by doing things like selling crack cocaine or committing other crimes.
Those working dead end jobs or find themselves stuck in the rat race.
Those who have no ambition to help themselves.
Those who sit around blaming everyone else except themselves for their plight.
Those who have become complacent in life and don’t seek anything more if it involves hard work and dedication.
This list could go on and on.

Now because these are the main people throwing the shaming tactics they don’t bother to self-reflect and criticize themselves and the things they’ve done that have contributed to being stuck in their piss poor environment. In their minds they are OWED something and because the days of guilt tripping whites are almost over they have turned their attention to those black people who are successful, but believe it or not they are not the MAIN problem here (key phrase)…


In my opinion the majority of the blame goes on those middle/upper class black people who sympathize/empathize with poor African Americans and believe the same thing about well off African Americans coming in and uplifting those who screw themselves over. This minority group of middle/upper class blacks enable poor African Americans’ behavior by sympathizing with them instead of looking at their actions and the way they have ineffectively managed their lives. They don’t frequently call out the nonsense they see with poor blacks. Instead they coddle them and excuse their actions as…
A reaction to their piss poor and morally dilapidated environment.
A reaction to being poor and denied access to quality education.
A reaction to a racist/oppressive society.


Sound familiar? ( Here)


This describes what I most often call a black progressive on this blog. Because those who are poor often can’t effectively express their sense of entitlement and have no platform (other than the internet) to do so…it’s these middle/upper class black progressives who do their talking for them. They in exchange gain things like money and political power. The fact that many of them have come out of the very same environment and achieved success is pushed to the back of the black progressive’s mind in order to excuse/emphasize/sympathize with those tearing the black community down. Oh they are quick to call out everyone else on their supposed nonsense, but they don’t have a damn thing to say about the MAIN people tearing down the black community.


Then there is the fear of our dirty laundry hitting the face. Black progressives will overlook anything done to the black community by members of the black community if it means the national media doesn’t catch news of the story. Because they have a platform to speak on these things they choose not to step up for fear of “others” listening and a fear of loosing what they have gained (money and political power). Those black people who dare to call a spade a spade are roasted. For some odd reason it almost never occurs to the black progressive that a non-black person can turn on the nightly news and see black people’s dirty laundry everyday.


Now here is the twist…


The very people (successful African Americans) who are shamed into helping those “less fortunate” are told to put up and shut up. They can help in terms of giving their time, energy, and donating money, but they are NOT welcome to criticize or point out any of the obvious bullshit they see with the very people they are shamed into helping. In other words, successful blacks are told to give, but expected not to say a thing about the SELF-INFLICTED crap they see with the people who bring shame upon them for supposedly not helping the black community.


It’s okay for Bill Cosby to give his time, energy, and wealth to “less fortunate” black people but it is not okay for him to criticize the obvious flaws of those he’s trying to help. It is okay for Oprah to give her time, energy, and wealth to “less fortunate’ black people, but it is NOT okay for her to criticize the obvious nonsense of those she’s trying to help. If these successful black people didn’t give shit at all they would be dogged out. If they try giving what I consider constructive criticism they are dogged the hell out. So here they are damned if they do and damned if they don’t. The only time they are appreciated at all is when they hand over their hard earned money (to those who try to shame them…damn the rest of their charities) and ignore the crap they see with those they’re helping. Like I said on another post…any “well off” person with good sense would question some of the SELF-INFLICTED issues they see with those who are trying to shame them into helping, which is probably why most successful black people don’t bother with the black community.


Let me make this very clear…


The MAIN (key word) problem is not with those well off black people who run and stay away. The MAIN problem is with those who tear down the black community (along with those who defend/enable them) and expect other people to come in and fix THEIR SELF-INFLICTED MESS. You don’t build a house, do all the damage you can to it, and expect someone else to come in and be WILLING to fix it. Until black people get this idea that we are OWED something out of our heads (whether it be from members of our race or some other race) we are going to continue to slip through the cracks. My helping hand is extended to the black man and the black woman who are working to help themselves. The rest of the black folks can kiss my ass.

Obama is black but he’d better not say so

It is now politically incorrect to call anyone a racist, even if they are. But how can you tell anymore? Those who used to be identifiable as black racists now have white friends and white racists have black friends.
I know a black guy in North Carolina who often drops in for a chat with his neighbor, who is a local Grand Dragon in the Klan. Seriously! So doesn’t that give the Grand Dragon plausible deniability of racism?
I know a Chinese woman whose best friend is black; but she doesn’t particularly like black people. In fact she doesn’t particularly like Chinese people. Is she a racist? Race is a really touchy subject all over the world right now.
I do a lot of international blogging and a man from Amsterdam, who I had come to know as quite racially liberal, was very offended because I referred to him as white. I had seen his photo. He is white.
A woman from Copenhagen was similarly outraged when I told her that we are likely to understand some things differently because she is white and I black. She had no problem with my social reality being different because of gender, nationality or mode of thinking.
“I don’t see you as black. You are simply a human being, and so am I,” she wrote with seeming pride in her liberalism.
“No I am a black human being and you are a white human being. Our points of view will be different at times because of race,” I said. But the more I tried to explain the angrier she got.
We exchanged three or four emails and eventually she wrote: “Because some bad white people did something awful to you in your childhood… I am not responsible for American racism and so I’m not going to feel sorry for you. Forget it! No!”
Wow! I furrowed my brow. I had not once asked her to feel sorry for me. I have an advanced degree from an Ivy League university. I worked at the Washington Post and New York Times. How could I convince her that “good” white people had done more for me than “bad” white people had done against me?
I had books published by Random House and Doubleday. I was a flying officer in the United States Air Force, but still there are things that I have to face that a white guy of my social circumstance does not have to face. There are many, many ways that I do not get treatment equal to that of a white guy similarly placed. “You’re playing the ‘race card,’” she said. “I’m not going to let you get away with it.”
Seldom can a black person talk about racism without being accused of playing that infamous “race card.” When Obama criticized Arizona’s anti-immigrant bill, Sarah Palin accused him of playing the “race card.”
Obama is, in America’s definition, black but he’d better not say so. We can refer to him proudly as the first black president, but we cannot construct a working definition of what that might mean in the day to day conduct of his job.
He cannot say he has a different point of view on certain social realities “because I’m black,” or “because now my entire family is black, except my half-sister who has an Asian father. We see America a little differently.” Immediately, pundits will accuse him of a lack of patriotism.
The most patriotic person I know is a black ex-Special Forces guy. In business meetings he’ll blurt right out: “No one is ever going to get me to do anything that is not in the best interest of my country.”
But his patriotism is different from that of, say, Glen Beck, Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, or John Boehner. He sees America as deeply flawed and unfinished. He loves America for its promise. Obama loves America too for its promise, and that’s a very valuable attitude, but he’d better be careful verbalizing it.
Could Obama dare say certain people “attack me because I’m black”? Wow! That would be the ace of spades of ‘race cards.’ If the Tea Party, other elements of the right wing, or the Republican Party are rabid with racism there is no way to say so without, well… playing the “race card.”
I got an email from a 30-something white guy who likes talking politics with a guy like me from the Civil Rights era. He is a polling and media consultants whose present specialty is working against right-wing, populist movements. He seems comfortable seeing the racial difference between us, and is not the least bit apologetic about that difference.
He wrote:
. . .this harkins back to a discussion you and I were having about “correctly framing the political discussion” I think it is this EXACT message battle that is going to play the largest role in the elections this Fall. Right now, the right-wingers are winning this battle hands-down.
Sure they are. They can rally support using code words. The million-member Facebook group praying for Obama’s death does not say it is because he’s black. Rand Paul (who asserts that private business owners should not be prevented from discriminating against blacks and other minorities) says: “I have a message from the Tea Party. We come to take our country back.” From whom. . .that n-word in the White House?
“Real Americans” is Sarah Palin code word. And her supporters know exactly who she regards as “unreal Americans.” Even if it can be argued that Paul and Palin are not racists, they certainly know how to appeal to racism.
A Harris Poll released recently found among Republicans (There are about 50 million registered Republicans in America):
• 67 percent believe Obama is a socialist.
• 57 percent believe Obama is a Muslim
• 45 percent believe Obama was not born in the United States
• 38 percent equate many of Obama’s actions to those of Hitler
• 24 percent say Obama “may be the Antichrist.”
How many of these 50 million are stealth racists who can be energized for political campaigns without mentioning race? Are some of the 50 million already in Congress? How many are in government jobs vital to the Administration’s success?
How many are out there in America sliding some small or large indignity or inequality into black lives, sometime with permanent or even fatal ill-effect. And if the black person complains, how many liberals will dismiss the complaint as playing the “race card.”
We know there are uncountable numbers (more than the million who signed up for the Facebook group) who hate Obama’s being President; why? because he’s… nope, you can’t say it. Therefore, you cannot openly defend him, or yourself, from stealth racism. And this makes Obama’s accomplishments as President, the new American mix that elected him, and some of the wonderful things black people are getting done seem even more incredibly to an old timer like me.