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Thursday, July 15, 2010

This is a true story. I wish I were imaginative enough to make up the exchange I’m about to recount for you, but honestly, I couldn’t have dreamt up what followed when I answered my cell phone earlier today.
I normally don’t bother accepting calls from numbers I do not recognize, but a friend of mine is in town this weekend. I thought maybe she was calling from the landline where she’s staying. So, I picked up.
There’s a guy on the line, and when I ask him who he is, he responds with, “Someone who’s interested in you.” (It’s getting good already. Right? LOL.) I don’t recognize his voice, and I’m assuming it’s a wrong number, but Mike quickly explains to me that he’s called me before. It was unintentional that first time. He was trying to reach a woman he’d met and swapped info with, but he reached my phone instead. Apparently, he liked the sound of my voicemail message and decided he’d make note of his misdial and call me again.
I kid you not.
I’m confused. So, just to make sure I’m following, I ask, “So, we’ve never met, but you’re telling me you’re interested in me based off my voicemail message?” Yep. He assures me that I’ve got the gist. Apparently, I sound cute.
There’s more.
After I lie and tell him I have a boyfriend, he goes on to tell me that he has “a friend,” too. She’s 38, but she’s married. So, he’s available, since he’s ready to leave married women alone. I encourage him to do that.
So, he asks my age, and he inquires as to whether I have children. He seems genuinely shocked when I tell him I’ve not birthed any babies. Of course, I have to ask him the same thing. His answer? Five. My response. “I hope you’re joking.” He’s not.
I’m laughing.
I try to kindly convey to Mike that I’m not interested, but he suggests I save his number in my phone and that we get to know each other better because he wants to take me out to dinner. However, that will be some time after he’s done dealing with his DUI situation. Apparently, he can’t get behind the wheel anytime in the near future. I think he offered more of an explanation in regard to this, but his voice was being drowned out by the sound of my continued laughter.
I told him I wasn’t interested in learning anymore about him. I said it as nicely as possible. Really.
The end.
I could easily offer this as confirmation that answering calls from unfamiliar numbers should be avoided. However, I thoroughly enjoyed my chat with Mike. It was one of the most entertaining conversations I’ve had in months.
So, go ahead and answer that call from the strange number. You might get a good story out of it

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